self-injury

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A Brief Guide for Parents about Self-Injury

September 8, 2009 in Self Injury by Evelyn Wenzel

girlwithparentsSelf-injurious behavior is any time someone deliberately damages their body without conscience intent of suicide. Even though it is about feeling better, not dying; self-injury should be taken seriously. Teens that self-injury use it as a coping mechanism to deal with and gain quick relief from painful emotions. Below are several characteristics of self-injurers. Of course, few self-injurers will exhibit all these characteristics.

 

  • Wear long sleeve shirts and long pants in warm weather
  • Cuts or burns on the arms or legs – sometimes scratches
  • Difficulty identifying and expressing feelings
  • Have trouble self-soothing when emotionally distressed
  • Perfectionism
  • Hypersensitive to rejection
  • Lack impulse control

 

Often parents don’t know what to do or say when they are confronted with a child who self-harms. They may experience a wide range of emotions including: shock, anger, sadness, and guilt. Some blame themselves for the child’s behavior.

 

What Should Parents Do and Say

● Address the issue - don’t pretend it isn’t happening.

● Speak calmly

● Validate your child’s feelings

● You might ask:  “How does self-injury help you to feel better?” or “What can I do differently that you would find supportive?”

●If your child doesn’t want to talk about it, you might say, “I’ll be here when you are ready to talk”.

 

What Is Not Helpful to Do or Say

● DON’T get into a POWER STRUGGLE. You can’t control your child’s behavior.

● Don’t demand and threaten that they stop hurting themselves this instant!

● Don’t punish them.

● Don’t lecture or yell.  Getting angry doesn’t help the situation.

● Don’t say things like, “Are you crazy?” or “I know how you feel.”

 

How are suicide and self-injury different?

Suicidal behavior and self-injury are not the same thing. With a suicide attempt, the individual is hopeless, has given up on life, and sees this act as the only option. Self-injurious behavior is about feeling better and is one of several possibly ways people  respond to stress and overwhelming emotions.

 

However, self-injurious behavior must be considered serious and is best addressed by a professional counselor.

 

Self-injury information was provided by Evelyn Wenzel, LCSW, CAP.  www.evelynwenzel.com  You may contact her at (407)375-1214 or evwenzel@aol.com

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Understanding the “Voice” of Self-Injury

August 25, 2009 in Self Injury by Evelyn Wenzel

Self-injurious behavior has a voice and it speaks of the underlying pain that is buried deep inside. It communicates the emotional pain that can only be represented by physical marks. Sometimes self-harm speaks such loud internal critical self-talk that punishment must ensue and the self-injurer cuts. Perhaps self-injury functions the most frequently as a way to regulate moods. The anxiety and confusion that has built up like an internal combustion engine must be qualmed and the self-injury harms him/herself to bring relief, relaxation, and a sense of calm.

 

There are several other functions that self-injury serves. When the person feels deadened to the world around him/her and emotionally numb, self-harm helps him/her feel alive. The blood seems to bring peace and a certainty of aliveness. It seems to ground the person back to reality. Oddly enough, self-injury can be a way people self-soothe. Once they have burned or cut themselves, they use great care to tend to their injury. It may be the only instance where they pay attention to their needs.  Self-injury can also be used to dissociate, transporting the person to a place where they no longer feel the intense emotions that seem daunting.

 

Sometimes their may be one or more of these functions that self-injury plays. Knowing the function self-injury has in the life of the self-injurer is important for treatment considerations. Understanding the importance of this coping method in the self-injurers life is vital to designing an individual treatment program unique to that person. Developing a voice to communicate without self-injury is always one important aspect of therapy.

 

To learn more about self-injurious behavior, contact Evelyn Wenzel, MSW, LCSW, CAP.

 

 

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The Great Disconnect: Adolescent Self-Injurious Behavior

March 31, 2009 in Self Injury by admin

Self-injurious behavior is no longer seen as novel or unusual behavior. When I asked a college student what she thought about such behavior, she replied that she thought it was stupid, but it certainly was common. People are inundated with this behavior. Real World San Diego had a “cutter” on its show. Several popular television shows have characters who cope with stress by cutting themselves. Christina Ricci has expressed her fling with self-mutilation in Rolling Stones magazine. Internet message boards are out there for those who want to learn more about how to cut or receive support not to cut.

Dr. Janis Whitlock at Cornell University recently published an article in Pediatrics indicating that she found that 20% of women and 14% of males on 2 major college campuses engage in self-injurious behavior at least once in their lifetime. 

With all the hype on television, internet and video, one would think that younger teenagers would be drawn to such behavior. However, Dr. Nancy Heard found that about 14% of adolescents try self-injurious behavior. I have found many teens try self-injurious behavior just to see what it feels like. This usually is the only time they do it. It hurts and doesn’t achieve any desired effect, such as tension release. Some, however, find that this is the way they want to express their anger, fears and loneliness. It becomes the way to avoid communication and a way to cope with overwhelming emotions. Regardless of who cuts/burns more, the number of self-injurious adolescents and young adults is not likely to abate.

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